Sussex -- IN a new monthly column, Maria Box, from Pound Hill, will share the highs and lows of living with her autistic son, Ryan WEDNESDAY, January 26, 2011 was the day that changed my life for ever and also for the better.That day I officially became a mum to an autistic child. To hear the paediatrician utter the words, "Mr and Mrs Box, your son has autism" came as such a great relief after over a year of wondering what was wrong with my child.
Why was he so different? The power of the internet confirmed my own suspicions but to hear it from a professional made it real. I actually smiled and thanked her when she told us.
The aim of my monthly column will be to raise awareness and promote understanding of this "disability" which rules every waking second of my life.
My son, Ryan, turned four on November 10. His day wasn't what most of you would expect a four-year-old's celebration to be.
It may sound sad to you as there was no party, no jelly and ice cream, no pass the parcel or musical chairs, and no wrapped presents, yet Ryan was in his element and the happiest little boy.
Unfortunately, he has no concept of birthdays and their meaning at present.
He struggles to tolerate his peers in close proximity and is absolutely petrified of anything wrapped up.
I learnt a hard lesson last Christmas having to unwrap all of his presents and asking the same of friends and family.
Ryan was beside himself and it broke my heart.
However, it is important to try to desensitise those with autism to their fears and anxiety triggers. So my attempt at desensitising on his birthday was to leave a very small present wrapped up in his view, but not too close. Presents, all out of their packaging, were just left lying around for him to discover at his own pace and all visitors had a set time to pop in.
Ryan is a visual learner and we live by visual timetables, so his schedule that day showed him exactly who he would be seeing and in what order, whether it was before or after lunch, nap time or dinner.
As for the birthday cake, well, of course, he had to have one and a Thomas the Tank Engine one at that. Some 75 per cent of autistic children have eating issues and Ryan is one of them. He loved the sight of the cake but would he eat any? Not a chance.
Ryan also, as yet, is unable to blow, so I did the candles instead. It might sound like a waste of time and money to have the cake, but to see his little face burst into a massive smile when he saw Thomas made it all worthwhile.
On reflection he's lucky to have had an all-day celebration rather than a couple of hours of chaos. Mission accomplished!
Maria Box runs Autism Support Crawley, a group which gives parents and carers of people with autism spectrum disorders the opportunity to share information, advice and support.
The group meets at Broadfield Children's Centre. For more information visit * http://autismsupportcrawley.btck.co.uk/
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